Wednesday, July 27, 2011

New roomates and long talks

I don't understand The Messenger. I don't understand him at all.

We are rooming together now, and it looks likely that this will be a permanent arrangement. Screwtape and I will still be working together, but I no longer have to live with him. I'm rather glad of this. He is an intense person, and even if he didn't hate me I don't think that I could stand him for long periods of time.

His method for tracking is vastly different from what Caper and I did. Screwtape is a firm believer in smoking the enemy out. I did my own research on him, and looked at some of the work he's done. Once he had narrowed down a runner's location to one of three distinct areas. So he had some agents burn down a school, a library, and a government building, each fire in one of the areas. He waited to see which fire the runner blogged about and from that knew exactly where he was.

It isn't exactly a bad way of doing things, and it certainly is faster. It does take up more resources though, and it's harder pretend that you're not doing any harm. I just betray people I've never met. I don't tell people to burn down elementary schools.

I guess I don't have to worry about it anymore, since I'm rooming with Messi now. However, I'm no longer sure whether that's a great idea either.

Once again, I really don't understand him.

We had a talk the other day about a lot of stuff. Living arrangements, getting attached to people, betrayal, befriending runners, safety, death, really standard agent topics. He got mad at me for becoming friends with a runner. I got mad at him for implying that if he had the opportunity he's sell them all out. He even dared to pull Caper into it.

Then he told me that he liked me.

What does that even mean? What am I supposed to do with that? I'm really not that used to people caring. Caper was the only one really, and his death almost destroyed me. The Messenger has already admitted that under certain circumstances he could betray people? I know most people can and will, but I'm not sure how to feel about the fact that he's open about it. I also don't know how to feel about the fact that we might be... I don't know, friends? I really can't afford friends. I'm being stupid again. I can't help it, though.


  1. You can't just push everyone away because you're afraid to lose them. Not having anyone can hurt just as much, if not more.

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  3. In all honestly, Messi is probably the only one you can trust right now.