I guess I'm posting again.
There has been a lot going on. A lot of things that I don't really want to talk about. Zombie tells me that I need to, though. Not all of it, of course. Just enough to help me deal with things. Prevent me from going back to where I was.
Donovan's dead.
Screwtape sent his head to me in a box. Zombie is the only reason that I can talk to you again. He's been very patient. Very kind. I was gone for a while. It was just like it was before. I can't really remember much of it. When I'm like that, everything shuts off. I'm no longer anyone anymore.
I think that was what Screwtape was trying to do. Break me. He always told me that I didn't deserve awareness. For a while, he took it away from me. He miscalculated my friends, and how much they'd go through to help me.
Saved by the power of friendship. This hardly seems the place.
Even now, I am not completely back to normal. I still feel... hollow is the only way to describe it. As if not all of me is here. It's hard to concentrate and nothing feels truly... real. Zombie's helping me. So is Messi, as much as he can. I just don't know how long I can hold on to myself.
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If you needed any more proof that Screwtape isn't worth the effort it takes to acknowledge his existence...
ReplyDeleteFuck. I really want to say that you can't complain, but...I want to be fair. And to be fair, a lot of what you've done isn't your fault.
It's all HIS fault, after all. Without him...well, a lot of us would be the same, but we'd be a lot less effective at murdering people.
So. Sorry.
Really, Raven, I'm surprised at you. If you're going to be coding messages, I recommend you choose a less obvious keyword next time.
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm done with Capo, you are next Screwtape. We need less of your kind in this city.
ReplyDeleteCam would be proud. Hang in there, Poe.
ReplyDeleteUp a couple posts.
ReplyDeleteI fear the latter statement is accurate.